


be still my foolish heart

by JaeRianL



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Leo Fitz, Leo Fitz Feels, Leo Fitz-centric, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:34:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25038574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaeRianL/pseuds/JaeRianL
Summary: Leo Fitz had always been told that soulmates were not for him, that he didn't deserve them. His soulmates might just have something to say about that one.
Relationships: Leo Fitz & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Leo Fitz/Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	be still my foolish heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, this is my first delve into the AoS fandom, and I feel like I must preface that I haven't managed to watch much of the show yet, so if there are some inaccuracies or things that are hand-waved over, I do apologise. In this story Fitz is selectively mute, meaning that while he is physiologically capable of speaking, due to an anxiety disorder he is unable to speak in certain social situations. He uses ASL to communicate whilst at SHIELD due to being surrounded predominantly by Americans - any speech in italics is sign, written as spoken English as opposed to the ASL syntax.
> 
> Just to let you all know, there are trigger warnings for: mentions of childhood abuse, mentions of bullying, depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, as well as major character injury (Fitz's canon head trauma as well as gunshot wounds), and mild violence, so if any of these can trigger you, please be careful whilst reading this fic.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Having spent the majority of his life mute, Fitz had accepted early on that if he ever managed to meet his soulmates, they wouldn’t ever have his mark, and frankly, that would leave them much better off than being forced to deal with him. He’d instead dedicated himself to his studies, choosing to use his hands to truly express himself and forcing himself to forget all about his poor soulmates. As a result, Fitz wasn’t fully prepared to meet one of his soulmates on his first day at the Academy.

Fitz hadn’t seen her coming. He was intensely studying the device he’d been working on in the senior labs overnight, which he technically wasn’t allowed access to, but what his new professors didn’t know wouldn’t kill them. So when he crashed into her on his way to one of the on campus coffee shops, he had barely managed to bend down so that he could pick up her things when she came out with a very annoyed: “For the love of God is everyone out to get me today?”. The question sends a shiver down his spine and Fitz doesn’t hesitate to push her belongings back at her before sprinting away, refusing to stay lest he completely cocks everything else up by getting entranced by her gorgeous hazel eyes.

Making his escape to the café, Fitz’s anxiety levels soar as he starts to process what has happened. He had just met one of his soulmates and she already hated him - a voice in the back of his mind, that sounded suspiciously like his father’s, telling him how that was no surprise - and whilst he’d accepted the idea of his self-imposed solitary lifestyle, he hadn’t realised he’d have to face it age fifteen. Hiding in the back corner of the shop, Fitz tells himself to face facts, that he would never have a chance, and so he just needed to ignore her, it’s not like he would ever have to see her again.

But alas, Fitz was completely wrong, and only found this out three days later when the girl - soulmate his mind unhelpfully adds - settles down beside him in the SciTech lecture hall. Turning his head to look at the commotion beside him, Fitz winces at the sight of her, who looks somewhat sheepish when she realises who he is. Opening his notebook, Fitz prays that she won’t try and speak to him, he did, after all, want to avoid feelings all together.

“Hi, I know you don’t know me, and you have every right to tell me where to go stick it, but I am so sorry about what happened the other day, I was in such a bad mood and took it all out on you and I can only apologise for how I treated you.” She spits out, barely pausing to take a breath whilst Fitz starts to write in his notebook.

The lack of an audible response clearly rubs the brunette the wrong way, and she begins bouncing her leg up and down at the silence between them. Passing the book towards her, she lets out a relieved sigh as she reads his response telling her not to worry about it, the fellow Brit letting go of the tension in her body. Hoping that it would signal the end of the conversation, Fitz turns his attention towards the lecturer, who begins the well-rehearsed induction assembly for all of the cadets, however it was clear his luck had totally run out when the girl - Jemma as she tells him on a piece of paper - began to ask him about his life, avoiding the topic of his mutism in favour of questions about his favourite things, his education, and his reasoning for joining the Academy.

By the time the assembly is over, Fitz can feel the pit in his stomach sink further and further as he feels his infatuation grow stronger and stronger. The two teens, who were younger than the rest of their cohort by five years at least, had established a strong enough friendship in the hour long assembly that Jemma was already insisting he help her learn ASL so that they can communicate during class, and outside of it too. It was then that Fitz realised he was well and truly fucked.

\-----

Years passed, and much to Fitz’s annoyance - well maybe not annoyance but frankly he doesn’t know how to describe what he feels - his feelings for Jemma had evolved from some teenage infatuation to all consuming love for her. Not only had she stayed by him through everything (they were often referred to as FitzSimmons because one was never far from the other) but she hadn’t ever tried to change who she was for the sake of those around her, himself included. These feelings were the only thing that got him through being in the field. If Fitz'd had it his way, he’d have been locked away in a lab and alone for the rest of his days, but no, he loved Jemma too much to allow her to go off alone and get herself killed.

And for the most part he got by. Did it kill him when she went on dates with tall, hunky men, or gorgeous, modelesque women, both of whom were light years away from Fitz’s own league? Yes, of course it did. Was he paralysed with terror at the very notion of telling her she was his soulmate? Abso-fucking-lutely! Could Fitz feel the weight of his feelings dragging down on him at all times? Well, some days it was better than others. But they had been getting somewhere, they had found a family within Coulson’s team, and for the first time in a long time, Fitz was considering tearing down his walls and allowing people to see the true him, scars and all.

Then Ward happened. He had watched on as Jemma insisted he couldn’t be this evil villain, that he was their family and he couldn’t kill them, and Fitz couldn’t do anything. Instead, he had resigned himself to never meeting his other two soulmates, a phantom pain emanating from the back of his right thigh at the missed opportunities, the chance to watch Jemma live a long and happy life with their soulmates, her soulmates, and have her rightly deserved chances at true love. And being abandoned at the bottom of the ocean with a dodgy arm left a lot to be desired, especially when Fitz had had to resort to finger spelling everything, forcing Jemma to take the oxygen mask and live her life, accepting his death without giving her a chance to consider any other option.

Except somehow, with what Fitz assumes was from Jemma’s willpower and stubbornness alone, he manages to survive, and is left even more fucked up than he already was. Because now, not only could he not speak, but he’d lost his ability to communicate entirely, his brain too oxygen starved to allow his hands to work the way they used to. And that was the most frustrating thing, he remembered every language he’d ever learnt and yet, he couldn’t use any of them. 

Initially, Fitz had had hope, because Jemma was there beside him, alive and physically well, smiling at him and talking to him for hours on end. But then she left, an undercover mission within HYDRA, and Fitz was left floundering, for the first time since he’d met her feeling as though he was drowning. Because his team, his proper team, his family were no more, and he missed it all, but he had nothing left.

That was, until Coulson showed up in his room one day, after a particularly rough physical therapy session, followed by two new agents he didn’t recognise. Barely feeling capable of lifting his head off of his pillow, Fitz half-heartedly waves in their directions, hearing a sympathetic chuckle from one of the unknown men. The first one, Mack, starts talking shop with him, the former mechanic gushing about all of the projects he’d seen lying around in the garage, only stopping when the other man clears his throat rather loudly behind him. Looking somewhat cowed, Mack pulls back and stands behind Coulson once more, allowing the other man to crouch beside Fitz’s bed, sustaining eye-contact with the younger agent.

“Nice to meet you sweetheart, sorry it took so long for us to meet, but I must say it was definitely worth the wait.” He leers, smiling at the blush rising on Fitz’s face. 

Listening to the man, Hunter, introduce himself, Fitz freezes as he reflects on the words on his thigh, realising that he had now managed to stumble across his second soulmate, and was essentially immobile and stuck in his room. His mind stuck in a loop of _shitfuckbollocksohgodwhyme_ , Fitz barely manages to sign to Coulson that he would rather be left alone to sleep off his PT induced exhaustion, his hand trembling and cramping as he tries to convey the message. After convincing Coulson he would be fine, Fitz waves goodbye to his new teammates, cursing his luck all over again.

This time, Fitz thinks to himself, this time he won’t allow himself to fall for anyone, because look where it had gotten him already, exhausted, alone, and struggling. But, he will accept friendship. At the end of the day, ignoring Hunter wouldn’t do him any good, not when Fitz knew he wouldn’t ignore Mack, so instead he would just be friends with him. It would all work out fine, and if Fitz had to simply pine from afar, then so be it, it couldn’t be any worse than the years of loving Simmons surely.

\-----

It was times like this that Fitz cursed his lack of superstition, because maybe if he’d touched wood or done something to ensure he wouldn’t jinx himself, then maybe he wouldn’t have ended up in this situation. It had been almost eight months since Jemma had gone undercover, and almost six since he’d met Hunter, when Fitz had stumbled across Jemma lounging on a sofa in the common room, curled up with another woman who she clearly had romantic feelings for, as if she had never left in the first place. Backing out of the Lounge before he could be spotted, Fitz watches as Hunter strolls into the communal area from the gym, the Englishman chugging a bottle of Lucozade like his life depended on it before stopping dead centre at the sight of the couple on the sofa. Like something out of a comedy, Hunter chokes on his drink and sprays it all over the women in front of him.

The pair jump up almost immediately, the unknown woman glaring at Hunter whilst resting an arm around Jemma’s waist. Glancing between the bug eyed stare plastered on Hunter’s face and the less than impressed scowl on the woman’s, Fitz can only assume that this must be the woman Hunter often referred to as his “demonic hell beast of an ex-wife”, who Fitz knew was one of Hunter’s soulmates. Stood frozen in the doorway, Fitz can only watch as Hunter stammers over his words, never managing to ask Bobbi a complete question, the mercenary unconsciously drifting closer and closer to the couple as he takes them both in. Just as Hunter goes to say that fated phrase to Jemma, Fitz sprints away from the situation, locking himself in his bunk as he tries to process everything that is going on.

That was it, they no longer had a need for him, they could all live their happily ever afters together, and Fitz would forever remain their closest friend who just never found his soulmates, and ended up dying alone. It was what he deserved after all, there was no way any of them could love him, he knew he was defective and he wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy. He could grow to live with his unrequited affection for all three of them, now he just needed to find a way to leave SHIELD so that he could ensure he wouldn’t ruin their lives. 

As he paces around his room, Fitz doesn’t notice the rapid fire knocks at his door, his mind fixating on his potential exit strategies. It is only when he hears Hunter shouting his name, the giddiness in his tone tinged with concern, that Fitz realises someone had been trying to get his attention. Rushing into his bathroom, Fitz hastily runs the tap and splashes his face with cold water, wiping away at tears he didn’t know were falling. Towelling his face dry, Fitz scowls at his reflection before throwing the towel on the floor and opening his bedroom door, Hunter only seconds away from kicking said door down. 

The sheepish look on Hunter’s face cracks Fitz up, a silent laugh rendering him crouched over, clutching at his sides. Straightening himself up, Fitz stares at the trio in front of him, Bobbi holding on to Jemma’s hand whilst Hunter tucks her in under his arm, before allowing them into his room, choosing to lean against his bathroom door while the triad sit themselves down on his bed.

“I don’t think we’ve managed to introduce ourselves yet. I must say you’re a lot tidier than Jem made out.” Bobbi states, a kind smile aimed at Fitz to show the comment wasn’t meant in a malicious way.

Hearing that phrase nearly causes Fitz to keel over, it’s one thing to hypothesise over knowing all of your soulmates, but to actually have proof is a completely different matter altogether. Keeping calm, Fitz signs some pleasantries to her, letting Jemma translate on his behalf. Staring at the three before him, it doesn’t take long for Hunter to crack, the older man bouncing on the balls of his feet as he explains how they’d managed to find one another and that the girls were willing to let him into their relationship, Jemma having convinced Bobbi into giving him a second chance with her there to act as a buffer for them. The warm smile he sends them as he listens to Hunter’s loved-up babbling feels less and less forced as the man continues, Fitz knows that if he were a cartoon, Hunter would have heart eyes bulging out of his eye sockets.

Eventually, when Hunter has officially run out of steam, Fitz changes the conversation to find out more about Bobbi, the older woman having chosen to silently observe Fitz and his room over contributing to Jemma and Hunter’s various loved up comments. Fitz forces himself to stay upright as Bobbi begins to talk about her life, disclosing that she had a degree in biology, that she had worked for SHIELD for years, that she was multilingual like himself (although she didn’t know any sign languages fluently), and that her and Jemma had met when their covers had been blown at HYDRA. 

Nodding and smiling at his other soulmate, Fitz tries to steady his breathing, standing up for this long without an aid was not advisable, and he would be getting shit off of May and his physical therapist for overexerting himself. It’s only when he tries to adjust his stance, and nearly falls flat on his face, that Hunter realises Fitz shouldn’t have been standing up for as long as he had. The mercenary manages to catch Fitz in time, and places him gently on his bed, waving off his girlfriends’ concern as Jemma insists he gets taken to the medical bay.

“Jem, trust me. I know he’s your best mate, but quite frankly there’s nothing wrong with him, he just overexerted himself is all. He’ll come around in a bit and then tell us all to bugger off, it’s nothing unusual.” Hunter reassures his frazzled looking partner, pulling her into a tight hug when she looks increasingly worked up.

Just as Hunter had told them, it was barely a minute later that Fitz came around, pushing his palms into his eyes as he forced himself to regain total consciousness. Blinking up at the three concerned looking agents around him, Fitz is stunned as Jemma launches herself on him, squeezing him tightly as she tries to reassure herself that he was okay. Manoeuvring his hands so they rested on her back, Fitz squeezed Jemma just as tightly, knowing that the pressure would help reassure her of his safety. Eventually, Jemma allows herself to let go of Fitz, who motions for one of her partners to take her instead.

After repeatedly telling the trio that he was fine, and that he’d eat after napping, they leave Fitz alone in his room once more, the young Scotsman dramatically throwing an arm over his eyes as he tries to process everything. Seeing as he was definitely in love with Hunter, his feelings for Jemma were back with a vengeance, and he could feel himself growing fonder of Bobbi already, Fitz knew the only thing he could do is resign. Grabbing his phone, he begins to draft the letter of resignation for Coulson, refraining from adding any reasoning as to why he is leaving. Fitz ensures that he stipulates he doesn’t want the others to know, and promises to stay in contact with Coulson in case he is ever needed. Sending the letter off before he has the chance to overthink it, Fitz places his phone on his bedside table before forcing himself to go to sleep, the mantra of _one more month_ racing through his head.

\-----

Of course, that month could never go smoothly, because when has Fitz’s life ever gone smoothly? 

It doesn’t take long for Daisy to find out about him leaving - Fitz knew she had hacked his email months ago - and she is pissed. Fitz knew it was coming, there was no way she wouldn’t find out, so he did very little protesting whilst being dragged away from a team movie night, choosing to scowl at her instead. He is unceremoniously thrown onto her bed, the Inhuman woman perching beside him as she interrogates him about why he is leaving. 

And he gets so close to just telling someone, letting it all out once and for all, but the moment he tries, his hands lock up and he can’t find the words. So he skirts around the truth, telling her how tired he is and how he needs to get away from everything before it consumes him fully. Daisy, in turn, hugs him tight and tells him that if he thinks of going underground, even for a second, she will hunt him down and drag him back kicking and screaming. Settling down in her bed, the pair take the comfort they can find from one another, hugging the sibling they’d never had before.

By the time Fitz has spoken to Coulson about him leaving, he already knows May is fully aware of his imminent departure, having received a brief but firm hug from the older woman, as well as a threat along a similar vein to Daisy’s. God if the thought of one of them hunting him down was terrifying enough, Fitz doesn’t dare to think what the pair would be like together. Instead, he carries on as if nothing was happening, and ignores the inquisitive stares of one Bobbi Morse, who looks at him more often than not like he is a puzzle that needs to be solved.

And then it’s his final mission, mere days before he is no longer a SHIELD agent, and it all goes tits up - and really isn’t that just the story of Fitz’s life? It had all been going so well, Bobbi and Hunter had managed to retrieve the device, the team had managed to take down the kingpin of a new HYDRA subdivision, and yet somehow, Fitz had managed to get taken away by some belligerent goon and shot in the thigh, his body being left to bleed out on the ground. Pushing down on his thigh, biting his lip in an attempt to distract himself from the bullet wound, Fitz starts to wonder whether it was worth joining SHIELD in the first place. He wouldn’t have needed to run away from his soulmates if he had never met them to begin with, maybe it would have been better for everyone if he hadn’t joined. 

That’s the thing about hindsight, he supposes. So as he bleeds out on the floor, all Fitz can do is pray that Jemma, Hunter, or Bobbi don’t find him first, he would hate for this pathetic image to be the last one they ever have of him, call him selfish he just wants this one thing from the world. And as his vision blurs, and he can barely keep his eyes open, Fitz mentally curses the world when he hears Hunter’s harsh southern English accent beg him to stay alive, Bobbi’s soft American voice whispering reassurances to Fitz as he allows his body to finally rest, the darkness seeping in.

\-----

Waking up in the medical bay is never a good experience, especially not when you feel like death warmed over. Which is why when Fitz comes around to the sound of the heart monitor beeping in his ear, the Scotsman is not impressed in the slightest. Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, the one without the cannula in, Fitz takes in his surroundings, pushing himself upright despite his body's complaints about the movement. He watches as Hunter, Bobbi and Jemma, all dogpiled onto the tiny bed next to his, cling tightly to one another, all of them sleeping deeply, much to Fitz’s relief. He may not know what day it is, or how long he’d been out for, but he knows that Jemma will have worked herself into exhaustion, and that Bobbi and Hunter will have undoubtedly blamed themselves for his injury.

Pulling his gaze away from the trio beside him, Fitz turns his attention to Coulson and May, both standing in the doorframe watching the young Scotsman. Gesturing for them to stay silent, he welcomes the team’s parental figures into the private room, waving off their concern over him being sat upright as he reassures them that while he is going to be sore as hell for a while, he would survive. He watches as Coulson begins debriefing the mission, May interjecting when Coulson seems to forget a sign. 

But then he purposefully hesitates, and Fitz watches as the two senior agents try to communicate with facial expressions alone. Waving a hand up at them, Fitz tells them to let him know, because he’d clearly find out anyway. With a grimace, Coulson goes to sign what had happened but freezes, and May takes over, clinically describing what had happened between the time he had been found, and him waking up almost two days later. Apparently, the bullet had gone completely through his thigh, which had meant the medics had seen his soulmarks, and one of the nurses had addressed the triad as his soulmates, recognising Jemma’s name from Bobbi’s phrase, much to the team’s collective confusion.

The revelation washes over him and Fitz feels like he’s drowning all over again, they were never supposed to know. His hands tremble as he insists Coulson and May move him far away from them, begging the older agents to stop him from ruining their lives with his presence, tears streaming down his face as over fifteen years of emotional suppression explodes at once. Fitz doesn’t recognise the shock on Coulson’s face, nor the hints of sadness on May’s at his begging, caught up in a whirlwind of memories and emotions; the day Alistair left, telling him he’d ruin his soulmates’ lives like he had his, his mother’s callousness towards the notion of soulmates after his father left, the childhood bullies telling him there was no way one person could love him, let alone three. 

Distantly, Fitz can hear Coulson calling for a nurse, can feel May grabbing his hands to stop him from begging, can see his soulmates - no, not his, never _his_ soulmates, he never deserved them in the first place - waking up in the commotion, scrambling to get to Fitz. And he is so very tempted to give into his selfish desire for their comfort, the three soulmates hovering around him unsure of how to broach the conversation, but his mind banishes the thought of allowing him that reprieve moments after it appears. So instead, Fitz gently pulls his hands from May’s grasp, wipes away the tears streaming down his face and curls himself up as tightly as his wound will allow him to, hissing lowly at the shot of pain running through his body.

When Coulson returns minutes later, followed by a nurse armed with a sedative, he tries to take in the scene before him. May is stood by the seat she was in earlier, a guilty grimace marring her usually impassive face, as she tries to coax Fitz out of the ball he’d curled into. Meanwhile Bobbi is trying to get Fitz to look up from his knees, hands hovering above him as she forces herself not to reach out, and Jemma is sobbing into Hunter’s chest, the Englishman biting his cheek with watery eyes. Left unable to speak, the silence is broken by the nurse who had followed him, ordering everyone out of the room so that Fitz could be given the chance to calm down.

As they are ushered out, Fitz refuses to move until the nurse tells him that they can no longer see him, not even through the glass window. Forcing his body to uncurl itself, he lets the nurse know in no uncertain terms that there is no way he was letting himself be sedated, and instead allows the medical professional to check his stitches without complaint. Once they have confirmed that none of them reopened, the nurse offers to let his soulmates back in, jumping at the harshness of Fitz’s head shaking. Instead he informs them that under no circumstances was he going to accept visitors, not until he could get released anyway. 

Fitz watches as they scowl at him, unable to mask their displeasure at his stubbornness, but if he could ignore Jemma’s disapproving scowls, their looks would do nothing to change his mind. Sinking down into his pillow, Fitz forces himself to sleep as the nurse leaves the room, undoubtedly heading straight to tell the others he was refusing visitors. The sooner he could get out of here, the better.

It takes three days of Fitz’s constant complaints to convince the doctors to discharge him, no doubt out of fear of Coulson’s, or rather May’s, reaction to an early discharge. But he manages, after a lot of wheedling, and is discharged with a pair of crutches and a prescription of opiate pain relief he’d never touch. Navigating around the Playground is difficult at the best of times, however trying to navigate whilst on crutches in high levels of pain was borderline impossible - why the bunks had to be on the furthest side from the medical bay Fitz had no idea - but he makes it back to his bunk, ready to collapse onto his bed and sleep his last day of being a SHIELD agent away. That is, until he sees Bobbi, Hunter and Jemma squeezed together on his bed, all in various states of consciousness.

Jemma is the first to wake up, vaulting upright at the sight of Fitz’s exhausted figure lingering by the doorframe. Without a second’s hesitation, she pushes Bobbi and Hunter off of his bed, ignoring their muttered complaints in favour of racing over to Fitz and leading him over to his bed, frowning at his disheveled appearance. He goes to sign something, although what he wants to say he is unsure of, but Jemma takes his hands in hers and shakes her head.

“Look, Fitz. Frankly we are all exhausted right now, and you definitely shouldn’t have walked all the way over here with your injury, nor should you even be out of medical right now,” a not-so subtle cough from Hunter stopping Jemma’s imminent interrogation, “so for now, we’re not going to say or do anything, except cuddle you and sleep. And in the morning, we will talk about everything, but for now, you’re just gonna have to deal with a lot of comfort being sent your way, okay?”

Too tired to let his mind fall into a downward spiral of self-loathing and depreciation, Fitz lets himself lie back on his bed as he is surrounded by his soulmates, Hunter and Jemma curled up either side of him, with Bobbi behind Jemma. As Jemma rests her head on his chest, Hunter leaning against his shoulder and Bobbi running her hands softly through his hair, Fitz allows himself to truly relax and enjoy being in his soulmates’ presence, drifting into a state of calm rest he had never felt before.

\-----

Waking up with three people curled around you on a double bed is, unsurprisingly, like waking up in a sauna. Peering over Lance’s head, Fitz sees his alarm clock show the time as being half past eight in the morning, a certified lay in for SHIELD agents really. Wincing at the stiff pain radiating from his leg, Fitz tries to wiggle out of the bed, pausing to catch his breath while sitting at the end of it, clinging onto his crutches as he makes his way over to his bathroom. 

Gently bumping the door open with the end of a crutch, Fitz scowls as he looks at himself in the mirror and sees the growing stubble, not to mention the heavy bags under his eyes. Taking care of his business, Fitz perches himself on the toilet seat as he washes himself, not trusting his ability to stay upright without a complete grasp on both of his crutches. Changing into a pair of basketball shorts and an old t-shirt, Fitz takes a couple paracetamol, then makes his way back into his room, smiling at the trio curled up together. This, he thinks, this is bliss right here.

Not wanting to wake them up, Fitz takes his phone from his bedside table before sitting at his desk, emailing Coulson to ask if the four of them could have the day off seeing as he had been discharged from medical, as well as extending his contract in SHIELD at least until they could work everything out. Barely five minutes after he’d sent the message, Coulson had responded, telling him that it had already been sorted, and that he hadn’t submitted all the paperwork so Fitz can stay for as long as he wants. Silently chuckling to himself, Fitz settles down on the chair as best as he can, choosing to play games rather than stare at the bundle of people on his bed, just because they were happy to sleep in the same bed as him doesn’t mean they wanted him to stare at them like some sort of creepy nonce. 

It takes the others another hour and a half to wake up, by which point Fitz is one failed Candy Crush level away from smashing his phone and buying an old Nokia brick. Hunter is the first one to stir, grabbing at Jemma and frowning when he doesn’t feel Fitz’s flat chest. This, in turn, wakes Jemma, who is less than impressed by the unintentional groping off of her boyfriend. Stretching out as best as she can, Jemma unintentionally whacks Bobbi in the face, waking up the taller woman who had been gently snoring as she clung to Jemma.

Amused, Fitz watches the trio flail and struggle to get up, and by the time they have noticed he is no longer in bed, Fitz has fully abandoned the possibility of being able to turn his attention away from the people in front of him. Instead, he watches the muscles on Hunter’s back ripple as he stretches, watches Jemma lovingly stroke Bobbi’s cheekbones, watches the sweet, unguarded smile Bobbi sends Jemma’s way as she reassures her that she is in no way hurt, watches the way they move around one another like a well-oiled machine. He can feel the yearning he’d associated with his soulmates rise within him, only this time, unlike every other time, he doesn’t totally dismiss the idea. 

Not feeling entirely ready to face the oncoming conversation, he tells the triad to meet him in the Lounge, ignoring the tremors that threaten to completely ruin his ability to communicate with them. As Fitz makes his way into the communal area, he puts on his best “grumpy sleep-deprived engineer” scowl the moment he sees some lab techs walk towards him. While he would love nothing more than to avoid the conversation looming over him, Fitz really couldn't be bothered with facing lab technicians who need to be walked through every single issue they come across, not unlike young children. 

Settling down onto the sofa he’d found Jemma and Bobbi on in the first place, Fitz throws his crutches to the ground and starts rubbing at the wounded thigh, he’d barely even used the bloody things and yet he was already planning out schematics for ones that wouldn’t hinder his recovery. It doesn’t surprise him when he hears the chaos of the triad arguing over going over to him, not even ten minutes after he’d left them in his room. Rolling his eyes, Fitz turns to them and motions for them to come and join him in the seating area, asking that they sit on a different sofa to his so that he wouldn’t have to sign as awkwardly.

He watches as Jemma drags Bobbi and Hunter to a different sofa, not hesitating to sit in between the taller agents. Fitz could tell that the former married couple were unsure of this move, not wanting the Scotsman to alienate himself, but Jemma manages to reassure them that he did this all the time, just never this openly around others. As the soulmates get themselves comfortable, Hunter’s arm around the back of the sofa, rubbing gentle circles onto Bobbi’s shoulder, Bobbi holding onto Jemma’s hand, leaning her head on top of the younger woman’s, Fitz tells them that he’ll answer any questions as honestly as he is capable of, nothing more and nothing less. In turn, they tell him he’s more than welcome to ask them questions, and they would do the same for him. 

The conversation pauses, and Fitz waits patiently as they take the time to think through what they want to ask him. While he may not have known Bobbi and Hunter for nearly as long as he’s known Jemma, Fitz knows that they can be just as impulsive as her when they want to be, so he doesn’t try to predict who will break first.

“How come you never told us?” Jemma asks, her voice cracking halfway through the question.

He’d expected the question, by logic it was the most reasonable question to come from them, but that didn’t mean Fitz knew how he should respond. Because they’d seen him spiral, they knew about some of the places his mind would go, but that hadn’t meant he’d told them the reasons why. God, he himself had barely managed to dip a toe into the cesspool of trauma, self-worth issues and mental illness that existed in his brain, let alone divulging that shit show to anyone else. Flexing his fingers when they try to cramp up, Fitz doesn’t allow himself to overthink his response.

_“Because I was terrified you would resent the world for sticking you guys with someone like me. Because I didn’t want to ruin your lives like I had my mum’s, my dad’s, anyone who got close to me. Because I knew you all deserved better than me. So, I just accepted I’d be forever alone, and you’d never know.”_

He can see the cogs whirring in Jemma’s mind, can hear Hunter translate into Bobbi’s ear, but doesn’t foresee Bobbi launching herself at him and hugging him tightly in a moment of unusually open impulsivity before slapping his shoulder. Fitz goes to protest her actions but is stopped when she gently places a hand on his cheek, then presses a soft kiss to his forehead, smiling at the younger man.

“Now you listen here Leo, you are an incredible man and you have done nothing but bring us happiness since being in our lives. If you hadn’t met Simmons, there is no way she’d have had the confidence to go in the field, and I wouldn’t have met her at HYDRA. If you hadn’t made such good friends with Lance...” A faint groan from the other sofa is silenced with a stern look from Bobbi, who then softens as she looks back at Fitz. 

“There is no way he would have stayed here as long as he did, which would’ve meant we would have never reconnected. If you hadn’t been their best friends then I wouldn’t have met the most caring man, who took me in without hesitation, and has been teaching me new things every day. Everyone who told you otherwise can go fuck themselves okay? You’re with us now, however you want to be.”

She gently rubs away the stray tear falling down his face before taking her seat beside Jemma, giving him the time to compose himself before he is asked any more questions. Motioning for them to continue, he watches as Bobbi and Hunter seemingly do a mental coin toss over Jemma’s head, of which Hunter comes out victorious.

“Are you happy with all of us being your soulmates? I’d be okay being friends if you’re not into me in that way.” He tags on, letting his insecurities slip out without meaning to.

_“If you think I have not been in love with you since I met you, any of you, then you must be oblivious Lance. I would love nothing more than to be with all of you, as long as you guys are happy to be with someone like me that is.”_

The smile that creeps onto Hunter’s face lights up the Lounge, and Fitz can’t get enough of it. He would steal a thousand suns, travel across if it meant he could see him smile like that all the time. Fitz can tell that Bobbi and Jemma clearly feel the same, the pair beaming at him with the same passion in their eyes.

Eventually, Bobbi shakes herself from her loving gaze at Hunter, and turns all her attention towards Fitz once more. Running a hand through her hair, she perches on the edge of the sofa cushion, as if ready to leave at a second’s notice.

“How do you want to go about this Leo? We’ll take this as slowly as you need us to.”

 _“I think…”_ he trails off, not sure of how to word his thought process, _“I think I would like for us to be in a romantic relationship, all four of us. But I know it’ll be a lot of work, we’ll probably need to go to therapy, couples therapy, and I’ll definitely need individual sessions. I can see that my thoughts aren’t exactly healthy, but I don’t want that to harm you guys either. Other than that, I don’t know. Taking it one day at a time I guess.”_

Finishing his stream of thoughts, Fitz places his hands on his lap and forces himself to look at his soulmates, rather than shy away like normal. They react almost simultaneously, a collective sigh of relief at Fitz’s openness to their relationship. At the mention of therapy, Jemma’s eyes well up in delight, unable to hide the pride she feels at his willingness to invest into something she knew his father would have belittled him for. 

With a shared look between the established triad, they turn to Fitz and ask for permission to hug him, holding their arms out to welcome him in. Blinking back the happy tears that threaten to spill over, he motions for them to come over to his sofa, not willing to let fighting with his crutches ruin this moment. The trio momentarily struggle with where to settle around Fitz, mindful of not causing further damage to his wounded leg, but eventually arrange themselves so that Bobbi and Hunter are braced around him, with Jemma sitting on Hunter’s lap, stretching her legs over Bobbi and Fitz’s laps. 

Soaking up the physical contact, the young Scotsman lets himself relax in their presence, his mind shutting off for the first time in years. However, before he can manage to fall asleep on his… Partners? Datemates? Lovers? - Fitz would have to sort out the terminology later - Fitz clears his throat, wincing at the unnatural sensation of making noise around others and gaining their attention.

 _“Can I ask you guys a question?”_ He signs apprehensively, scowling at the shakiness of his hands. After a round of yeses, Fitz exhales a shaky breath before forcing himself to carry on. _“I was just wondering if you guys would like to kiss me? Of course you have every right to say no, and it’s not like you need that permission in the first place, oh god please stop me before I totally cock this all up.”_

Chuckling at Fitz’s nervous rambling, Hunter takes a hold of his hands, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles, before reassuring the younger man that they’d be more than happy to kiss him. Not sure of who to kiss first, Fitz asks them to choose, he didn’t want to make anyone feel bad about not being chosen first. 

After a minute of waiting, Fitz feels Bobbi and Hunter pull away and sees Jemma lean in towards him, a stray piece of hair falling down onto her face. Brushing it behind her ear, Fitz caresses her cheek before leaning in, smiling as they kiss. He can’t quite describe how he feels, just that kissing Jemma feels like coming home, to warmth, love, and trust, and he doesn’t think he will ever get enough of it. As she pulls away, Fitz can’t help but let out a soft whimper, already wanting more. 

Breathing slightly heavier than normal, Fitz turns his attention to the former married couple, both staring at their soulmates with awe in their eyes. Fitz watches as the specialists argue over who he would kiss next with facial expressions alone, and after waiting for a few minutes, he uses Jemma’s shoulder as leverage to push himself up, dismissing Jemma’s noises of complaint with a wave of his free hand. It’s then that the specialists pay him any attention, and sandwich him between them, Hunter’s arms pulling Fitz towards his chest, holding him upright as Bobbi tilts her head downwards to kiss him. 

While kissing Jemma felt like coming home, kissing Bobbi is like a wave of calm, gentle but strong, almost like he could get lost in it forever. Pulling away from the kiss, Fitz leans back into Hunter, smiling at the gentle kiss the taller man places on his temple. He can’t help but grin as the older man turns him in his arms before swaying them from side to side, humming a tune that Fitz couldn’t quite place.

Just as Fitz goes to ask his partner about the tune, he is swept into a kiss unlike any other he’s had before - although, to be fair it’s not like he has a large repertoire of those already. If Bobbi was the calm, then Hunter was the storm that came after, bold and brilliant, and just so him. It’s at this point that Fitz wishes he could stay like this forever, with all of them, however when he accidentally stands on his injured leg, and pulls back from the kiss in shock, the moment changes and he is suddenly swarmed with concerned partners, all ready to mother hen him. 

Just as he goes to ask for his crutches, or to sit down on the sofa, Fitz is carefully lifted into a bridal carry by Hunter, who decides that it is a disgrace they haven’t all properly cuddled in the king size bed which SHIELD had allocated the former triad. Without a moment’s notice, Fitz finds himself being carried by Hunter to the shared room in a procession through the halls, much to Fitz’s continual insistence that he is more than fine to walk with the crutches. As they arrive at the bunk, Bobbi steps around the men, brushing her hand lovingly against Fitz’s arm on her way past, and opens the door, letting Hunter maneuver them through the door frame.

Lowering Fitz down onto their bed - which, sidenote, is way more comfortable than the beds for single agents, Fitz needs to have words with Coulson about that - Hunter goes to lie down beside him, but is shooed away by Jemma, insistent that she needed to look at Fitz’s wound. Rolling up his shorts, he allows her to check his wound for any open stitching, chuckling at her critiques of the doctor’s technique. As hands drift towards the back of his thigh, Fitz tenses briefly before relaxing, Jemma caught up in her own world as she traces the phrase she’d first said to him.

Taking her hand in his, Fitz pulls her down to cuddle up beside him, interlacing their fingers together and pressing a kiss to her knuckles before beckoning over the others to their bed. Smiling up at them, he watches as Hunter curls himself around Jemma, trying to nuzzle up behind her before brushing her hair away from his face like it was personally attacking him. Hearing the “Ugh Lance” that falls from Jemma’s mouth ranks as one of the best things Fitz has heard all week, finally he wasn’t the only one who had to deal with it.

As Bobbi stands by the left side of the bed, looking somewhat hesitant to join in the cuddling, Fitz beckons her towards him, not hesitating to pull her in closely and pepper her face with kisses, finishing with a gentle peck on her nose which causes her to go cross-eyed. Watching the insecurity slowly fall away, Fitz holds up his free hand and signs I love you, first at Bobbi, then at Jemma and Hunter, before turning back to Bobbi once more. Clinging tightly to one another, Fitz decides that he would do anything he could to savour these moments and live in them for eternity, the future would just have to wait for them.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! Let me know what you thought & come find me on [ Tumblr](https://acetoshikosato.tumblr.com/)! Thanks for reading!!
> 
> Jae <3


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